Some times are REALLY tough. Thats when I hide away so I don’t impose my grief on others. They come out of the blue and last night was one of those times.

It’s easy to make assumptions based on the ‘public face’ that is presented. I’ve plucked up the courage to let you see behind the mask.

I saw this poem and it resonated deeply. I’ve adapted it a bit.

My life goes on- I’ll dig deep and hope today is better. It usually is. Miss you so much Ben Findlay

Your life, that was yours to take,
But my heart, that wasnt yours to break,
From that very day my life has changed,
Now I walk round in an eerily daze,
A former shadow of myself,
I cant think, I cant speak, reality is hell,
The grief is like the dark raging clouds before the storm,
Are these flashbacks and nightmares now part of the norm?
I look back on that night in disbelief!
It didnt happen, you didn’t, you couldn’t!

But all you saw was a release.
You were so loved, but your demons were deep rooted,
Hidden locked away behind jokes and a smile,
I don’t know how you carried that burden,
I couldn’t walk in your footsteps not even for a mile.

I hope and pray you have now found your peace,
And maybe one day my heart will stop breaking and mourning my boy,
When that time comes it will bring me a great deal of relief,
But for now I will mask this pain,
Till the day I hold you in my arms again. ❤️

Poem by Chrissie Louise.